Owning a fire extinguisher means you are a fire-happy homicidal maniac who wants to see everything around you burn.

At least, that's the impression I got from all the news reports I've been seeing for the last month and a half, quoting "experts" from the Obama Administration all the way down. It's kind of confusing, you know? I mean, I'd always been taught that a responsible adult prepares for unwanted eventualities, and that closing your eyes and chanting "LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" whenever someone presents you with inconvenient truths you don't want to hear is the sign of an irresponsible juvenile, yet again and again, I've been seeing news reports that equate owning fire extinguishers with mass murder, just because a rare few individuals (so rare that in reality they're a statistical blip) have used fire to murder groups of people en masse.

Now I know that some of you are going to argue that the news isn't about fire extinguishers at all. It's about something entirely different. Something that isn't the same at all. But if you think about it rationally, like a responsible adult, isn't it?

Look at this:

Tell me, how is this a sign that you are a budding George Holman?

Now. Look at this:

Tell me, how is this any different?

They're both nothing more than tools, designed for dealing with emergency situations that no rational person wants to be mixed up in, but any rational, responsible adult recognizes that they may have to deal with at one time or another, whether they want to or not. Would you honestly condemn someone for having a fire extinguisher in their kitchen?

If yes, you're not rational and there's no talking with you.

If no, how can you, as a rational, responsible adult, explain condemning the person who owns the other variety of fire extinguisher?

It is just not possible for a rational, responsible adult to approve of one and condemn the other. Doing so demonstrates that you are either not rational, or you are not a responsible adult.
If it's the first, you are worthy of the same compassion I would offer any other irrational being.
If it's the second, you have earned only contempt, for an adult who chooses to reject responsibility is contemptible and unworthy of respect.

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Fire extinguisher photo credit: Tal Bright via photopin cc
Rifle photo credit: IcyNudibranch via photopin cc

If Cars were treated like Guns

Found on a mailing list:

• Convicted felons could not own or drive a car.
• You'd pay for a car, register it, and then wait from 5 to 15 days to pick up your car.
• Purchasing a used car from a neighbor requires the same waiting period, and you would have to transact the sale through a licensed car dealer.
• If you trade in your old car for a newer model, you still have to wait 5 to 15 days to pick the new one up.
• You could buy a car and register it, but you'd need a special permit to take it on the streets.
• To get the above "street permit" you have to show good cause, and be of good moral character (as defined by the licensing authority).
• Persons convicted of "domestic violence" could not own or drive a car, even if that conviction occurred 30 years ago.
• Your car would have to be stored where no child could access it and hurt themselves playing with it.
• In some places (e.g. NYC or New Jersey) you would first need a permit from the police department to buy a car, which sometimes takes up to 2 years to obtain.
• If you buy a car, and then move to another state, you may have to leave the car behind since the other state may not accept the make and model you own.
• If a minor child stole your car and hurt himself or others with it, you'd be guilty of a felony.
• In some cities (e.g. Washington D.C.) you would have to store your car partially disassembled.
• Failure to register your car would be a federal felony (prevents you from ever owning another one, for the rest of your life).
• People under psychiatric care, or declared to be mentally incompetent, could not own or drive a car.
• Some models of automobiles might be banned after you buy them, and you'd have to turn them over to the government without compensation.
• "Assault vehicles" look evil and must be specially registered at extra cost. Hummers, 4x4 trucks, Suburbans, Dodge Vipers, Nissan NSX's, and Corvettes are likely targets.
• Cars under a certain size, or having certain features, could not be imported.
• You could not modify your car to allow more fuel, more performance, or better cornering.
• The government would allow some states or cities to not issue licenses at all, for any reason (or no reason at all).
• Cars could not be operated on city streets with gasoline in the tank. (Kinda defeats the whole purpose, doesn't it?)
• In some states (e.g. Virginia, California) you could only buy one car per month.
• There would be no traffic "infractions". Instead, all violations would be criminal misdemeanors or felonies.
• It would be illegal to directly buy a car from an out of state dealer or seller.
• Car dealers would have to allow government agents to review their records without a warrant and without notice.
• Car dealers who sell a car to someone prohibited would be charged with a federal felony.
• Car dealers would be subject to being shut down by the government, and charged with a felony, for failure to keep proper records. The government inspector defines what "proper records" means.
• The inventory of car dealers could be seized and destroyed before the dealer is ever charged in court.
• Your car could be declared to be one of the banned kind, even after you legally bought it, and you would be charged as a criminal, based solely on the word of a government auto inspector, who doesn't even have any written guidelines to what is required for a car to be banned.