Owning a fire extinguisher means you are a fire-happy homicidal maniac who wants to see everything around you burn.

At least, that's the impression I got from all the news reports I've been seeing for the last month and a half, quoting "experts" from the Obama Administration all the way down. It's kind of confusing, you know? I mean, I'd always been taught that a responsible adult prepares for unwanted eventualities, and that closing your eyes and chanting "LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" whenever someone presents you with inconvenient truths you don't want to hear is the sign of an irresponsible juvenile, yet again and again, I've been seeing news reports that equate owning fire extinguishers with mass murder, just because a rare few individuals (so rare that in reality they're a statistical blip) have used fire to murder groups of people en masse.

Now I know that some of you are going to argue that the news isn't about fire extinguishers at all. It's about something entirely different. Something that isn't the same at all. But if you think about it rationally, like a responsible adult, isn't it?

Look at this:

Tell me, how is this a sign that you are a budding George Holman?

Now. Look at this:

Tell me, how is this any different?

They're both nothing more than tools, designed for dealing with emergency situations that no rational person wants to be mixed up in, but any rational, responsible adult recognizes that they may have to deal with at one time or another, whether they want to or not. Would you honestly condemn someone for having a fire extinguisher in their kitchen?

If yes, you're not rational and there's no talking with you.

If no, how can you, as a rational, responsible adult, explain condemning the person who owns the other variety of fire extinguisher?

It is just not possible for a rational, responsible adult to approve of one and condemn the other. Doing so demonstrates that you are either not rational, or you are not a responsible adult.
If it's the first, you are worthy of the same compassion I would offer any other irrational being.
If it's the second, you have earned only contempt, for an adult who chooses to reject responsibility is contemptible and unworthy of respect.

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Fire extinguisher photo credit: Tal Bright via photopin cc
Rifle photo credit: IcyNudibranch via photopin cc

Did you know?

In times of war, the U.S. Constitution gives the President the power to ignore the Constitution? Including wars that are not declared, as required under Article 1, Section 8, of the Constitution? Apparently, the people who published the copy of the Constitution that I've read neglected to include the portion that gives the President that power. Or maybe it's in a classified section of the Constitution, that's only available to members of the Executive Branch?

Did you know that the President does not condone or authorize torture or inhumane treatment of prisoners? I guess that means that Manadel al-Jamadi, Abed Hamed Mowhoush, and Nagem Sadoon Hatab, among nearly a hundred others, are still alive and well and being treated with basic human dignity? And I guess that means that those photos from Abu Ghraib were just Photoshop jobs? Oh, that's right, that's neither torture nor inhumane treatment - it's "enhanced interrogation techniques." After all, America doesn't torture its prisoners. Never mind that when other countries used the exact same techniques, their officials were charged - by America - with war crimes.

Did you know that the President insists on the preservation of the human rights of all American prisoners? But then again, habeas corpus isn't a human right, apparently.

How do I know all this is true? Because I've been assured so by Nancy Theis, Special Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Correspondence.

So, from now on, when someone tries to tell me that America is engaged in an illegal war, I'll just point them at that super-secret, classified portion of the Constitution that only the President has access to, that gives him the power to engage in war without the need for a pesky Declaration of War, and without the need to obey any of those pesky rules in the public portion of the Constitution.

And when anyone tells me that America tortures and mistreats its prisoners, I'll just point out to them that it's not torture when America does it - only when other countries do it.

And when anyone tells me that America violates human rights, I'll just point out to them that little things like habeas corpus aren't really human rights after all.

After all, I have been assured this is so by the Assistant to the President. And she wouldn't lie, would she?

We Have To Send A Message!

Have you ever noticed that, whenever anyone tries to convince politicians to do anything that makes sense, like decriminalizing marijuana, restore the 2nd Amendment, protect people's privacy rights, or whatever, their response is some variation on "we have to send a message"?

Nobody ever asks them what kind of message they're trying to send.

Maybe that's because people know, even without being told, that the message they're sending is one of the following:

"You are stupid." - The politician believes you are too stupid to be able to live your own life without being told what to do by the government.

"You are evil." - The politician believes you are an evil person and must be constrained by government power to prevent you from doing whatever it is the government has declared to be "evil."

"You are insane." - The politician believes that you are crazy. You must be, because only crazy people would question the beneficence of the all-powerful government.

So let's be real here. Why should we trust, or believe, anyone whose essential message is any one of the three messages I've mentioned here?

Are you a terrorist?

The Dept. of Homeland Security has defined what they consider a "domestic terrorist" - and their definition includes anyone who:

• Believes the Constitution has been subverted by the government.
• Opposes gun control
• Believes the government is violating their rights
• Believes that the government's policies are criminal and/or immoral.

Don't believe me? Take a look at the following images, captured from a Homeland Security training website before the pages were pulled after being publicized by the Classically Liberal blog.

(Note that the page had to be taken in two shots, but you can clearly see where the text overlaps between the first and second shot.)